


id promise you anything for another shot at life

by PeculiarHeadphones



Category: EOS 10 (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Heartache, Hopeful Ending, IM IN PAIN, M/M, Moving On, Sad Nostalgia, ive been waiting since sunday to post this, letting go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 23:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16314305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeculiarHeadphones/pseuds/PeculiarHeadphones
Summary: ryan thinks of what was, what might of been, what never will be, and what isa sequel to until our fates intertwine again, but can be read as a standalone





	id promise you anything for another shot at life

After everything was said and done, what with learning of the alternate timeline situation he was stuck in, he was relieved that all of that drama was over. But even with everything simmering down, he couldn’t pretend that Akmazian didn’t often overtake his thoughts.

 

He had spent so long, wondering if he’d ever get the chance to see Akmazian again. If he’d be able to apologize for everything, for doubting him, for taking too long, for the fact that they didn’t have enough time together. 

 

Ryan couldn’t deny it: he liked David, a lot. But there was that part of him that ached each time he saw Ben walk by, reminding him of what he lost. He didn’t feel anything for Ben, which hurt more than he thought it would. How could he not feel anything for an alternate timeline version of a man he once loved more than anything?

 

It may have been after their tenth date that the reality hit Ryan. David had walked him back to his quarters, kissed him goodnight, and left Ryan to his own devices. Ryan hadn’t been able to contain his smile as he watched the other leave. But just as he was entering his room, it hit him: 

 

Akmazian was gone. After all they had been through, they couldn’t make their way back to each other. Ryan wouldn’t be able to tell him all of the things he wish he could have, it was too late. Akmazian was gone, and he wasn’t coming back. He began wishing for the chance to see Akmazian again. If he’d be able to apologize for doubting him, for taking to long, for the fact that they didn’t have enough time together, for everything.

 

It hurt, more than Ryan would ever admit, how much he regretted everything he left unsaid. He was unsure if he could deny the idea that if Akmazian ever returned that he wouldn’t drop everything to rush back into his arms. But that would never happen. 

 

At first, Ryan didn’t know how to move on, how to let go of everything he held for Akmazian. But perhaps there would always be that part of him that would love him, that would miss him and regret how little time they had together. But Ryan knew he couldn’t carry Akamazian with him forever. He could only hope that if the Akmazian he knew was watching over him knew how grateful he was for the time they got. 

          

In another universe, Akmazian got his name cleared, and they were able to stop having to sneak around to be together. They’d go on lame cheesy dates and Ryan would pretend to get annoyed with the other. Maybe in the future they’d get engaged and the wedding would be a total disaster that they wouldn’t stop laughing about afterwards. But that was another universe, another timeline. Ryan had to focus on this one.

 

He wasn’t getting his second chance with a version that wasn’t on the run, he wasn’t getting some redo like he had planned, he was moving on entirely. But what he had with David was better. A clean slate. He knew Akmazian would want him to move on. Maybe someday the sting would dull. Ryan just needed some time.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> HELLO MY ENTIRE SUNDAY WAS FILLED WITH ME CRYING ON AND OFF BC OF THIS FUCKING SEASON FINALE JUSTIN IF UR READING THIS MEET ME AT ARBYS N FIVE MINUTES
> 
> nyways pls comment!!! im begging you!!! 
> 
> pls listen to my rymazian playlist it has some bops https://open.spotify.com/user/pervertedheadphones/playlist/7wG4hWXtkc4HttkLdO7Z5F?si=ZHd3fE4eQtS3vnuZjZP-qQ
> 
> scream at me abt this ep on tumblr @ peculiar-headphones lets be friends and cry together


End file.
